The Corries — The Bantam Cock

He was a fine upstanding bantam-cock So brisk, and stiff, and spry... With a springy step, and a jaunty plume And a purposeful look in his eye In his little black laughing eye! So I took him to the coop and introduced him to My seventeen wide-eyed hens And he tupped and he tupped as a hero tupps And he bowed to them all, and then He up and took 'em all again! Well then upon the peace of my ducks and geese He boldly did intrude And with glazed eyes and opened mouths They bore him with fortitude... And a little bit of gratitude! He jumped my giggling guinea-fowl! He thrust his attentions upon ME twenty hysterical turkeys And a visiting migrant swan! And the bantam thundered on! He groped my fan-tail pigeon doves And my lily-white Columbine And as I was a lockin' at me budgerigar He jumped my parrot from behind! He was sittin' on me shoulder at the time! But all of a sudden, with a gasp and a gulp He clapped his wings to his head! He lay flat on his back with his feet in the air; My bantam-cock was dead! And the vultures circled overhead! What a noble beast! What a champion cock! What a way to live and die! But as I dug him a grave to protect his bones From those hungry buzzards in the sky The bantam opened up a sley little eye! He gave me a wink, and a terrible grin The way that rapists do.... He said, "Do you see them silly daft buggers up there? They'll be down in a minnit 'er two! They'll be down in a minnit 'er two!"