The Limeliters — Vasectomy

Well, I went to see my Doctor I said, "Doc, I can't pay my bills! The rent's all spent The truck's got a dent And I think I'm gettin' the chills From being forced to sleep alone You see this house just ain't no home I can't afford no kids My life is on the skids 'Cause my woman says "Leave me alone Unless you get a vasectomy! You ought to get a vasectomy! Just one little male alteration Can keep us from another altercation! Get a vasectomy! You ought to get a vasectomy! Oh what a vas deferens there could be!" Well, the next thing I know I'm laying on a table With a light shinin' in my eyes! They strapped my wrists They strapped my ankles And they double-strapped my thighs! The nurses were a gigglin' And I was a wigglin' Most uncomfortably When the Doc walked in With a perverted grin And here's what he said to me: "It only hurts For a little while That's what they tell me That's what they say!" Oooeeeiy! Ooooh! Aiiiy Oh! Well, it's two weeks later And I feel a little better My mind is more at ease The rent's still spent The truck's got a dent But my woman's no longer a tease! And even down at the office There is a lot more interest in me The girls all grin when I walk in! And brother, they mean to please A man with a vasectomy You ought to get a vasectomy! Like a sun-kissed orange I've been squeezed 'Cause its all juice and there's no seed! Well, a vasedctomy! You ought to get a vasectomy! Oh what a vas deferens! It's beginnin' to make a little sense! Oh what a vas deferens there could...' Here is the part that I like the most It takes the danger out of bein' close! Oh what a vas deferens there could.. They snip those little suckers right in two And clamp 'em of with super-glue! Oh what a vas deferens there could be!