The Lonely Island — Threw It On the Ground

[Verse 1: Andy Samberg] I was walking through the city streets And a man walks up to me and hands me the latest energy drink "Run faster, jump higher" Man, I'm not gonna let you poison me [Chorus 1: Andy Samberg] I threw it on the ground You must think I'm a joke I ain't gonna be part of your system, man! Pump that garbage in another man's veins [Verse 2: Andy Samberg] I go to my favorite hotdog stand And the dude says, "You come here all the time. Here's one for free." I said "Man, what I look like? A charity case?" I took it... [Chorus 2: Andy Samberg] And threw it on the ground I don't need your handouts I'm an adult! Please! You can't buy me, hot dog man [Verse 3: Andy Samberg] At the farmers market with my so-called "girlfriend" She hands me her cell phone—says it's my dad Man, this ain't my dad! This is a cell phone [Chorus 3: Andy Samberg] I threw it on the ground What you think, I'm stupid? I'm not a part of your system My dad's not a phone! Duh! [Verse 4: Andy Samberg] Some poser hands me cake at a birthday party What you want me to do with this? Eat it? [Chorus 4: Andy Samberg] Happy birthday to the ground! I threw the rest of the cake, too Welcome to the real world, jackass! [Bridge: Andy Samberg] So many things to throw on the ground Like this, and this, and that, and even this I'm an adult! [Verse 5: Andy Samberg] Two Hollywood phonies try to give me their autograph [Chorus 5: Andy Samberg] Ground! Nobody wants your autograph! Phonies! [Verse 6: Andy Samberg] Then, the two phonies got up Turned out they had a taser And they tased me in the butthole Fell to the ground, the phonies didn't let up Tasin' on my butthole over and over I was screaming and squirming My butthole was on fire [Outro: Andy Samberg] The moral of the story is You can't trust the system Man!