Tommy Steele — Flash Bang Wallop

One more picture, hold it All lined up in a wedding group Here we are for a photograph We're all dressed up in a morning suit All trying not to laugh Since the early caveman in his fur Took a trip to Gretna Green There's always been a photographer To record the happy scene [Chorus] Hold it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture What a picture, what a photograph Poor old soul, blimey what a joke Hat blown off in a cloud of smoke Clap hands, stamp your feet Banging on the big bass drum What a picture, what a picture Um-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum Stick it in your family album The same thing happened long ago When man was in his prime And what went on we only know From the snaps he took at the time When Adam and Eve in their birthday suit Decided to get wed As Adam was about to taste the fruit The man with the camera said [Chorus] Hold it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture What a picture, what a photograph Poor old eve, there with nothing on Face all red and her fig leaf gone Clap hands, stamp your feet Banging on the big bass drum What a picture, what a picture Um-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum Stick it in your family album You've read it in a 'folio Or seen it in a Shakespeare play How Juliet fell for Romeo In the merry, merry month of May And as he climbed the orchard wall To reach his lady fair As he tumbled she began to bawl As he floated through the air [Chorus] Hold it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture What a picture, what a photograph Poor young chap, what a night he's spent Tights all torn and his rapier bent Clap hands, stamp your feet Banging on the big bass drum What a picture, what a picture Um-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum Stick it in your family album One more picture, hold it King Henry the Eighth had several wives Including Anne Boleyn And he kept an album of their lives With all their photos in As Anne Boleyn was on her knees Dressed in her very best frock King Henry shouted, "Smile dear, please" As her head rolled off the block [Chorus] Hold it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture What a picture, what a photograph Comes the print in a little while She lost her head but she kept her smile Clap hands, stamp your feet Banging on the big bass drum What a picture, what a picture Um-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum Stick it in your family album One more picture, hold it When Napoleon married Josephine There was just the same to do He galloped home from the battle scene All the way from Waterloo And as he came from off his horse To the boudoir where she sat She said to him, in French of course As he took of his big cocked hat [Chorus] Hold it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture What a picture, what a photograph There she was with a big huzzah All caught up in her ahhaha Clap hands, stamp your feet Banging on the big bass drum What a picture, what a picture Um-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum Stick it in your family album Stick it in your family Stick it in your family In your family album