Topol — If I Were a Rich Man

[TEVYE] (spoken) Oh Lord, you made many, many poor people. I realize, of course, that it's no shame to be poor, but it's no great honor either. So, what would have been so terrible if I had a small fortune? If I were a rich man Ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum All day long I'd biddy biddy bum If I were a wealthy man I wouldn't have to work hard Ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum If I were a biddy biddy rich Idle-diddle-didle-didle man I'd build a big tall house with rooms by the dozen Right in the middle of the town A fine tin roof with real wooden floors below There would be one long staircase just going up And one even longer coming down And one more leading nowhere, just for show I'd fill my yard with chicks and turkeys and geese and ducks For the town to see and hear Squawking just as noisly as they can And each loud *bird noises* Would land like a trumpet on the ear As if to say "Here lives a wealthy man" Oy, If I were a rich man Ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum All day long I'd biddy biddy bum If I were a wealthy man I wouldn't have to work hard Ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum If I were a biddy biddy rich Idle-diddle-didle-didle man I see my wife, my Golde, looking like a rich man's wife With a proper double-chin Supervising meals to her heart's delight I see her putting on airs and strutting like a peacock Oy, what a happy mood she's in Screaming at the servants, day and night *Screaming* The most important men in town would come to fawn on me They would ask me to advise them Like a Solomon the Wise "If you please, Reb Tevye..." "Pardon me, Reb Tevye..." Posing problems that would cross a rabbi's eyes Ya-da-dee-da-da, Ya-da-dee-da And it won't make one bit of difference if I answer right or wrong When you're rich, they think you really know If I were rich, I'd have the time that I lack To sit in the synagogue and pray And maybe have a seat by the Eastern wall And I'd discuss the holy books with the learned men, seven hours every day And that would be the sweetest thing of all Oy, if I were a rich man Ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum All day long I'd biddy biddy bum If I were a wealthy man I wouldn't have to work hard Ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum Lord who made the lion and the lamb You decreed I should be what I am Would it spoil some vast eternal plan If I were a wealthy man