Triston Porter — A Purple Car

(Verse 1) It just hit me as I laid my head down, as the darkness consumes me in this cold, dark silent room where I rest my eyes The thought of failing and giving up fills my mind and wraps me in my thoughts and throws me into a fit of doubt Filtering out all the positives and making me feel worthless So I just close my eyes and dream away the pain (Verse 2) But then the very next night i'm back here again I watch the clock with thoughtful eyes standing in the midst of my room, it’s twelve I hear the sound of isolation and all its glory Everyone's sleeping Not knowing the pain i'm withstanding So I write this song in hopes it will help in some little way I keep fighting the fight, but shall I lay down and sleep through the pain again? (Chorus) So why’s it gotta be this way Coming back to the place to be torn down again It's hard to put yourself back together so I come to you to tell me i'm not going down I fight the fight but end up restarting where I was the last night (Verse 3) I look out my window and see you in your purple color covered in snow Giving me inspiration and telling me to stay alive another day and come back here again the next night But I don't want to be here In the place I harm myself the most Spewing my thoughts on blank notes and hoping I can turn these unspeakable words into a song (Verse 4) You tell me to write this song and write about my problems but will it help in the end? I just want to feel alive again but nothing seems to be helping (Verse 5) It's later now I'm standing at my window staring where you once stood Losing motivation bit by bit as time goes by Thinking about the times I had with you and how you're gone Helping me plan a song when I didn't what was going on How dare you stand where he once stood? Are you really gone forever or am I just in a bad dream, sleeping in my bed after a session of inspiration and preconception? (Chorus 2) So why’s it always gotta be this way Always coming back to the place to be torn down every single time I only come back for you to fix me and tell me i’m not going down I fight the fight but i'm only a kid who doesn’t want to fall forever (Bridge) I don't want to be here I don't want to be here I don't want to I don’t want be here I don't want to be here anymore No, I don't want to be here anymore Not anymore (Outro) A walk to clear my mind and now i'm back here once more, back to the place, the only place, where I can feel like myself