William Shakespeare — Two Gentlemen of Verona Act 1 Scene 1

                                    SCENE I. Verona. An open place.     Enter VALENTINE and PROTEUS VALENTINE       Cease to persuade, my loving Proteus:       Home-keeping youth have ever homely wits.       Were't not affection chains thy tender days       To the sweet glances of thy honour'd love,       I rather would entreat thy company       To see the wonders of the world abroad,       Than, living dully sluggardized at home,       Wear out thy youth with shapeless idleness.       But since thou lovest, love still and thrive therein,       Even as I would when I to love begin. PROTEUS       Wilt thou be gone? Sweet Valentine, adieu!       Think on thy Proteus, when thou haply seest       Some rare note-worthy object in thy travel:       Wish me partaker in thy happiness       When thou dost meet good hap; and in thy danger,       If ever danger do environ thee,       Commend thy grievance to my holy prayers,       For I will be thy beadsman, Valentine. VALENTINE       And on a love-book pray for my success? PROTEUS       Upon some book I love I'll pray for thee. VALENTINE       That's on some shallow story of deep love:       How young Leander cross'd the Hellespont. PROTEUS       That's a deep story of a deeper love:       For he was more than over shoes in love. VALENTINE       'Tis true; for you are over boots in love,       And yet you never swum the Hellespont. PROTEUS       Over the boots? nay, give me not the boots. VALENTINE       No, I will not, for it boots thee not. PROTEUS       What? VALENTINE       To be in love, where scorn is bought with groans;       Coy looks with heart-sore sighs; one fading moment's mirth       With twenty watchful, weary, tedious nights:       If haply won, perhaps a hapless gain;       If lost, why then a grievous labour won;       However, but a folly bought with wit,       Or else a wit by folly vanquished. PROTEUS       So, by your circumstance, you call me fool. VALENTINE       So, by your circumstance, I fear you'll prove. PROTEUS       'Tis love you cavil at: I am not Love. VALENTINE       Love is your master, for he masters you:       And he that is so yoked by a fool,       Methinks, should not be chronicled for wise. PROTEUS       Yet writers say, as in the sweetest bud       The eating canker dwells, so eating love       Inhabits in the finest wits of all. VALENTINE       And writers say, as the most forward bud       Is eaten by the canker ere it blow,       Even so by love the young and tender wit       Is turn'd to folly, blasting in the bud,       Losing his verdure even in the prime       And all the fair effects of future hopes.       But wherefore waste I time to counsel thee,       That art a votary to fond desire?       Once more adieu! my father at the road       Expects my coming, there to see me shipp'd. PROTEUS       And thither will I bring thee, Valentine. VALENTINE       Sweet Proteus, no; now let us take our leave.       To Milan let me hear from thee by letters       Of thy success in love, and what news else       Betideth here in absence of thy friend;       And likewise will visit thee with mine. PROTEUS       All happiness bechance to thee in Milan! VALENTINE       As much to you at home! and so, farewell.       Exit PROTEUS       He after honour hunts, I after love:       He leaves his friends to dignify them more,       I leave myself, my friends and all, for love.       Thou, Julia, thou hast metamorphosed me,       Made me neglect my studies, lose my time,       War with good counsel, set the world at nought;       Made wit with musing weak, heart sick with thought.       Enter SPEED SPEED       Proteus, save you! Saw you my master? PROTEUS       But now he parted hence, to embark for Milan. SPEED       Twenty to one then he is shipp'd already,       And I have play'd the sheep in losing him. PROTEUS       Indeed, a sheep doth very often stray,       An if the shepherd be a while away. SPEED       You conclude that my master is a shepherd, then,       and I a sheep? PROTEUS       I do. SPEED       Why then, my horns are his horns, whether I wake or sleep. PROTEUS       A silly answer and fitting well a sheep. SPEED       This proves me still a sheep. PROTEUS       True; and thy master a shepherd. SPEED       Nay, that I can deny by a circumstance. PROTEUS       It shall go hard but I'll prove it by another. SPEED       The shepherd seeks the sheep, and not the sheep the       shepherd; but I seek my master, and my master seeks       not me: therefore I am no sheep. PROTEUS       The sheep for fodder follow the shepherd; the       shepherd for food follows not the sheep: thou for       wages followest thy master; thy master for wages       follows not thee: therefore thou art a sheep. SPEED       Such another proof will make me cry 'baa.' PROTEUS       But, dost thou hear? gavest thou my letter to Julia? SPEED       Ay sir: I, a lost mutton, gave your letter to her,       a laced mutton, and she, a laced mutton, gave me, a       lost mutton, nothing for my labour. PROTEUS       Here's too small a pasture for such store of muttons. SPEED       If the ground be overcharged, you were best stick her. PROTEUS       Nay: in that you are astray, 'twere best pound you. SPEED       Nay, sir, less than a pound shall serve me for       carrying your letter. PROTEUS       You mistake; I mean the pound,--a pinfold. SPEED       From a pound to a pin? fold it over and over,       'Tis threefold too little for carrying a letter to       your lover. PROTEUS       But what said she? SPEED       [First nodding] Ay. PROTEUS       Nod--Ay--why, that's noddy. SPEED       You mistook, sir; I say, she did nod: and you ask       me if she did nod; and I say, 'Ay.' PROTEUS       And that set together is noddy. SPEED       Now you have taken the pains to set it together,       take it for your pains. PROTEUS       No, no; you shall have it for bearing the letter. SPEED       Well, I perceive I must be fain to bear with you. PROTEUS       Why sir, how do you bear with me? SPEED       Marry, sir, the letter, very orderly; having nothing       but the word 'noddy' for my pains. PROTEUS       Beshrew me, but you have a quick wit. SPEED       And yet it cannot overtake your slow purse. PROTEUS       Come come, open the matter in brief: what said she? SPEED       Open your purse, that the money and the matter may       be both at once delivered. PROTEUS       Well, sir, here is for your pains. What said she? SPEED       Truly, sir, I think you'll hardly win her. PROTEUS       Why, couldst thou perceive so much from her? SPEED       Sir, I could perceive nothing at all from her; no,       not so much as a ducat for delivering your letter:       and being so hard to me that brought your mind, I       fear she'll prove as hard to you in telling your       mind. Give her no token but stones; for she's as       hard as steel. PROTEUS       What said she? nothing? SPEED       No, not so much as 'Take this for thy pains.' To       testify your bounty, I thank you, you have testerned       me; in requital whereof, henceforth carry your       letters yourself: and so, sir, I'll commend you to my master. PROTEUS       Go, go, be gone, to save your ship from wreck,       Which cannot perish having thee aboard,       Being destined to a drier death on shore.       Exit SPEED       I must go send some better messenger:       I fear my Julia would not deign my lines,       Receiving them from such a worthless post.      Exit