William Shakespeare — Two Gentlemen of Verona Act 1 Scene 2

                        SCENE II. The same. Garden of JULIA's house.      Enter JULIA and LUCETTA JULIA       But say, Lucetta, now we are alone,       Wouldst thou then counsel me to fall in love? LUCETTA       Ay, madam, so you stumble not unheedfully. JULIA       Of all the fair resort of gentlemen       That every day with parle encounter me,       In thy opinion which is worthiest love? LUCETTA       Please you repeat their names, I'll show my mind       According to my shallow simple skill. JULIA       What think'st thou of the fair Sir Eglamour? LUCETTA       As of a knight well-spoken, neat and fine;       But, were I you, he never should be mine. JULIA       What think'st thou of the rich Mercatio? LUCETTA       Well of his wealth; but of himself, so so. JULIA       What think'st thou of the gentle Proteus? LUCETTA       Lord, Lord! to see what folly reigns in us! JULIA       How now! what means this passion at his name? LUCETTA       Pardon, dear madam: 'tis a passing shame       That I, unworthy body as I am,       Should censure thus on lovely gentlemen. JULIA       Why not on Proteus, as of all the rest? LUCETTA       Then thus: of many good I think him best. JULIA       Your reason? LUCETTA       I have no other, but a woman's reason;       I think him so because I think him so. JULIA       And wouldst thou have me cast my love on him? LUCETTA       Ay, if you thought your love not cast away. JULIA       Why he, of all the rest, hath never moved me. LUCETTA       Yet he, of all the rest, I think, best loves ye. JULIA       His little speaking shows his love but small. LUCETTA       Fire that's closest kept burns most of all. JULIA       They do not love that do not show their love. LUCETTA       O, they love least that let men know their love. JULIA       I would I knew his mind. LUCETTA       Peruse this paper, madam. JULIA       'To Julia.' Say, from whom? LUCETTA       That the contents will show. JULIA       Say, say, who gave it thee? LUCETTA       Valentine's page; and sent, I think, from Proteus.       He would have given it you; but I, being in the way,       Did in your name receive it: pardon the       fault I pray. JULIA       Now, by my modesty, a goodly broker!       Dare you presume to harbour wanton lines?       To whisper and conspire against my youth?       Now, trust me, 'tis an office of great worth       And you an officer fit for the place.       Or else return no more into my sight. LUCETTA       To plead for love deserves more fee than hate. JULIA       Will ye be gone? LUCETTA       That you may ruminate.       Exit JULIA       And yet I would I had o'erlooked the letter:       It were a shame to call her back again       And pray her to a fault for which I chid her.       What a fool is she, that knows I am a maid,       And would not force the letter to my view!       Since maids, in modesty, say 'no' to that       Which they would have the profferer construe 'ay.'       Fie, fie, how wayward is this foolish love       That, like a testy babe, will scratch the nurse       And presently all humbled kiss the rod!       How churlishly I chid Lucetta hence,       When willingly I would have had her here!       How angerly I taught my brow to frown,       When inward joy enforced my heart to smile!       My penance is to call Lucetta back       And ask remission for my folly past.       What ho! Lucetta!       Re-enter LUCETTA LUCETTA       What would your ladyship? JULIA       Is't near dinner-time? LUCETTA       I would it were,       That you might kill your stomach on your meat       And not upon your maid. JULIA       What is't that you took up so gingerly? LUCETTA       Nothing. JULIA       Why didst thou stoop, then? LUCETTA       To take a paper up that I let fall. JULIA       And is that paper nothing? LUCETTA       Nothing concerning me. JULIA       Then let it lie for those that it concerns. LUCETTA       Madam, it will not lie where it concerns       Unless it have a false interpeter. JULIA       Some love of yours hath writ to you in rhyme. LUCETTA       That I might sing it, madam, to a tune.       Give me a note: your ladyship can set. JULIA       As little by such toys as may be possible.       Best sing it to the tune of 'Light o' love.' LUCETTA       It is too heavy for so light a tune. JULIA       Heavy! belike it hath some burden then? LUCETTA       Ay, and melodious were it, would you sing it. JULIA       And why not you? LUCETTA       I cannot reach so high. JULIA       Let's see your song. How now, minion! LUCETTA       Keep tune there still, so you will sing it out:       And yet methinks I do not like this tune. JULIA       You do not? LUCETTA       No, madam; it is too sharp. JULIA       You, minion, are too saucy. LUCETTA       Nay, now you are too flat       And mar the concord with too harsh a descant:       There wanteth but a mean to fill your song. JULIA       The mean is drown'd with your unruly bass. LUCETTA       Indeed, I bid the base for Proteus. JULIA       This babble shall not henceforth trouble me.       Here is a coil with protestation!       Tears the letter       Go get you gone, and let the papers lie:       You would be fingering them, to anger me. LUCETTA       She makes it strange; but she would be best pleased       To be so anger'd with another letter.       Exit JULIA       Nay, would I were so anger'd with the same!       O hateful hands, to tear such loving words!       Injurious wasps, to feed on such sweet honey       And kill the bees that yield it with your stings!       I'll kiss each several paper for amends.       Look, here is writ 'kind Julia.' Unkind Julia!       As in revenge of thy ingratitude,       I throw thy name against the bruising stones,       Trampling contemptuously on thy disdain.       And here is writ 'love-wounded Proteus.'       Poor wounded name! my bosom as a bed       Shall lodge thee till thy wound be thoroughly heal'd;       And thus I search it with a sovereign kiss.       But twice or thrice was 'Proteus' written down.       Be calm, good wind, blow not a word away       Till I have found each letter in the letter,       Except mine own name: that some whirlwind bear       Unto a ragged fearful-hanging rock       And throw it thence into the raging sea!       Lo, here in one line is his name twice writ,       'Poor forlorn Proteus, passionate Proteus,       To the sweet Julia:' that I'll tear away.       And yet I will not, sith so prettily       He couples it to his complaining names.       Thus will I fold them one on another:       Now kiss, embrace, contend, do what you will.       Re-enter LUCETTA LUCETTA       Madam,       Dinner is ready, and your father stays. JULIA       Well, let us go. LUCETTA       What, shall these papers lie like tell-tales here? JULIA       If you respect them, best to take them up. LUCETTA       Nay, I was taken up for laying them down:       Yet here they shall not lie, for catching cold. JULIA       I see you have a month's mind to them. LUCETTA       Ay, madam, you may say what sights you see;       I see things too, although you judge I wink. JULIA       Come, come; will't please you go?      Exeunt