William Walton — Scotch Rhapsody

Do not take a bath in Jordan Gordon On the holy Sabbath, on the peaceful day! Said the huntsman Playing on his old bagpipe Boring to death the pheasant And the snipe - Boring the ptarmigan And grouse for fun - Boring them worse Than a nine-bore gun Till the flaxen leaves where the Prunes are ripe Heard the tartan wind a-droning Through the pipe And they, heard Macpherson say: "Where do the waves go; What hotels Hide their bustles And their gay ombrelles? And would there be room for me? - Would there be room Would there be room for me?" There is a hotel at Ostend Cold as the wind, without an end Haunted by ghostly poor relations Of Bostonian conversations (Like bagpipes rotting Through the walls.) And there the pearl-ropes fall like shawls With a noise like marine waterfalls And "Another little drink Wouldn't do us any harm" Pierces through the sabbatical calm And that is the place for me! So do not take a bath in Jordan Gordon On the holy Sabbath on the Peaceful day- Or you'll never go to heaven Gordon Macpherson And speaking purely as a private person That is the place - that is the place - That is the place for me!