Bernadette Peters — Look What Happened to Mabel

[MABEL] Miss waitress from Flatbush, get down from up there Don't you know that you're out of your class Miss waitress from Flatbush, I hope you're aware You're behaving like some little ass Hey miss What's this? See that fascinating creature With perfection stamped on every feature She was plain little Nellie, the kid from the deli But, mother of god, look what happened to Mabel From now on this pile of flesh'll be Considered something pretty special And miss BLT down is the toast of the town Mary and Joseph, what happened to Mabel? Every gesture and position that she takes Is smart and meticulous Talk about the magic that the camera makes But this is ridiculous! Hold your tongue and hold your snickers For the new enchantress of the flickers Is that plain little Nellie, the kid from the deli So rattle me beads Look what happened to Mabel Someone who was plain as mutton On the screen is cuter than a button And the girl with the pickles Who hustled for nickels is somethin' to see Look what happened to Mabel Yesterday a tip collector But today just turn on that projector And Miss Avenue R is a regular star Mother Machree, look what happened to Mabel Up to now I really never knew that I Could be so ambitious But suddenly I know I have to say goodbye To bagels and knishes [COMPANY] Oh St. Aloysius! [ALL] I know that you might think I'm balmy But the queen of corned beef and salami Is a glamorous goddess Who's bustin' her bodice Oh Jumpin' St Jude [COMPANY] Look! Look! Look! [ALL] Look what happened to Mabel [COMPANY] Someone who was plain as mutton On the screen is cuter than a button And the girl with the pickles Who hustled for nickels is something to see Look what happened to Mabel Every gesture and position that she takes Is smart and meticulous Talk about the magic that the camera makes But this is ridiculous [MABEL] Hold your tongue and hold your snickers For the new enchantress of the flickers Is that plain little Nellie [COMPANY] That plain little Nellie [MABEL] The kid from the deli [COMPANY] The kid from the deli [MABEL] So rattle me beads [COMPANY] Look! Look! Look! [MABEL] Look what happened to [ALL] Mabel