Bernadette Peters — There Is Nothin Like A Dame

You got sunlight on the sand You got moonlight on the sea You got mangoes and bananas you can pick right off a tree You got volleyball and ping-pong and a lot of dandy games What ain't you got? You ain't got dames! You get packages from home You get movies, you get shows You get speeches from your skipper And advice from Tokyo Rose You get letters doused with perfume You get dizzy from a smell What don't you get? You know damn well You have nothing to put on a clean white suit for What you need is what there ain't no substitute for There is nothin' like a dame Nothing in the world There is nothing you can name That is anything like a dame You feel restless, you feel blue You feel lonely and in brief You feel every kind of feeling But the feeling of relief You feel hungry as the wolf felt when he met Red Riding Hood What don't you feel? You don't feel good Lots of things in life are beautiful but brother There is one particular thing that is nothing whatsoever In any way, shape, or form like any other There is nothin' like a dame Nothing in the world There is nothing you can name That is anything like a dame Nothing else is built the same Nothing in the world Has a soft and wavy frame Like the silhouette of a dame There is absolutely nothing like the frame Of a dame There are no books like a dame And nothing looks like a dame There are no drinks like a dame And nothing thinks like a dame Nothing acts like a dame Or attracts like a dame There ain't a thing that's wrong with any man here That can't be cured by putting him near A girly, womanly, female, feminine dame