Bernard Cribbins — Ringing on the Engine Bell

[Verse 1] Oh, down the pole Then off we go Where the bloomin' fire is I don't know I'm a-ringin' on the engine bell And, like as not, I've forgotten me 'elmet Half the lads They're left behind They'll 'ave to take a taxi But I don't mind I'm a-ringin' on the engine bell And 'onkin' on me 'orn as well [Bridge] There's music in The clang of it Once you get The hang of it Very rewarding [Verse 2] A dirty, great bus comes Much too near He does his little nut But I don't hear I'm ringin' on the engine bell And 'onkin' on me 'ooter Swearin' at a scooter (Get out of it!) Oh, I don't care if it's "No Right Turn" Gotta get there while the fire's still burnin' That's why I'm ding-dong-dingin' this bell (Woo!) [Verse 3] I'm two wheels Around the bend Talk about a strain on my big end! I'm a-ringin' on the engine bell I gone all numb from me thumb to me elbow One-way streets the wrong way 'round Another traffic warden hits the ground I'm ringin' on the engine bell And nearly takin' off as well [Bridge] There's rapture in The ring of it Once you get The swing of it (Oy!) [whistles] Give us an encore [Verse 4] Whaddya know, mate Here we are A-ready with the hosepipe Right, mate? Ta I'm ringin' on the engine bell But the reason we were sent for (Help! Help!) Isn't what we went for (Locked in the what?) We gets her ad And takes her name Back we goes to the place we came from And I must admit it's just as well 'Cause I was all done-in from Ding-dong-ding-dong-a-dingin' this bell [Outro (spoken)] I said to Fred afterwards, I said "I've gone all deaf in my left earhole, Fred" And Fred said, "It serves you bloomin' right" You see? That's the trouble with Fred He's got no thought for others Self, self, self: That's Fred all over Still, I'll say this for him: He's very good on the 'osepipe