Bernard Cribbins — Winkle Picker Shoes Blues

[Verse 1] I've got those Wish-I'd-never-bought-these Winklepicker-shoes blues I've got those What's-the-good-of-shoes Your-feet-can't-even-use blues My lickle toe's disjointed My big one comes out pointed Wish I'd never seen 'em How the hell d'ya clean 'em? Cost me seven nicker I've got winklepicker-shoes blues [Verse 2] What a trouble I've caught in the plates, mates I look at my feet and I freeze Why was I misguided? I wish I'd not decided To be elastic-sided booties I've got those wish-that-I-could-flog These-winklepicker-shoes blues I've got those oh-me-achin'-dogs In-shoes-that-once-was-news blues [Verse 3] Down at youth club dances My girlfriend won't take chances Feel a proper nit th're All I do is sit th're Chatting to the vicar I've got winklepicker Drives a bloke to liquor I've got winklepicker-shoes blues [Outro] Hooray for gum boots