Harry Champion — Any Old Iron

[Verse 1] Oh, just a couple o' weeks ago me poor old Uncle Bill Went and kicked the bucket and he left me in his will The other night I tottered 'round to see my Auntie Jane Auntie said: "Your uncle left to you his watch and chain." I put it on right across me vest Thought I looked a dandy as it dangled on me chest Just to flash it off I started walkin' 'round about The kids were runnin' after me and they all began to shout [Chorus] "Any old iron? Any old iron? Any, any, any old iron? You look neat! Talk about a treat! You look a dapper from your napper to your feet Dressed in style wi' a brand new tile And your father's old green tie on I wouldn't give you tuppence for your old watch-chain Old iron, old iron!" [Verse 2] Haha, I shan't forget when I got married to Selena Brown The way the people laughed at me, it made me feel a clown I began to wonder when the dial began to crack By mistake I'd got me Sunday trousers front-to-back I put the chain on my derby kell The sun was shining on it, it made me look a swell The organ started playing, the bells began to ring Me chain began to rattle and the choir began to sing [Chorus] "Any old iron? Any old iron? Any, any, any old iron? You look neat! I need-a talk about a treat! A-treat-a-you-a look a-dapper from your napper to your feet Yer-feet-a-dressed in style wi' a genu-fine tile Father's old green tie on I wouldn't give you tuppence for your old watch-chain Old iron, old iron!" (spoken) Thank ya! Now, ladies and gentleman... I love the place where I was born - that's good old Bethnal Green I'm what you call a "Britisher" I love my king and queen! But now we've got some trouble on with Jerry once again Let us do just what we are told to uphold England's name We've got the men, the pluck, and the courage to! I'm speaking on behalf of every mother's son of you Give old England all you can, be generous and kind And before you go to bed tonight just see if you can find... (sung) Any old iron, any old iron Any, any, any old iron An old iron pot, an old iron cot An old iron bicycle or anything you've got An old iron plate, an old iron grate yer mother used to fry on And I'm going to let my country have me old watch-chain! Old iron, old iron! Hooray!