Original London Cast of Cats — Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer

[MUNGOJERRIE] Mungojerrie [RUMPELTEAZER] And Rumpelteazer [MUNGOJERRIE & RUMPELTEAZER] We're a notorious couple of cats As knockabout clowns, quick-change comedians Tight-rope walkers and acrobats [RUMPELTEAZER] We have an extensive reputation [MUNGOJERRIE] We make our home in Victoria Grove [MUNGOJERRIE & RUMPELTEAZER] This is merely our centre of operation For we are incurably given to rove [RUMPELTEAZER] We are very well known in Cornwall Gardens [MUNGOJERRIE] In Launceston Place [RUMPELTEAZER] And in Kensington Square [MUNGOJERRIE & RUMPELTEAZER] We have really a little more reputation Than a couple of Cats can very well bear [RUMPELTEAZER] If the area window is found ajar [MUNGOJERRIE] And the basement looks like a field of war If a tile or two comes loose on the roof [RUMPELTEAZER] Which presently fails to be waterproof [MUNGOJERRIE & RUMPELTEAZER] If the drawers are pulled out from the bedroom chests And you can't find one of your winter vests [RUMPELTEAZER] If after supper one of the girls Suddenly misses her Woolworth pearls [MUNGOJERRIE & RUMPELTEAZER] The family will say "It's that horrible cat! [MUNGOJERRIE] Was it Mungojerrie [RUMPELTEAZER] Or Rumpelteazer?" [MUNGOJERRIE & RUMPELTEAZER] And most of the time they leave it at that Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer have a very unusual gift of the gab [MUNGOJERRIE] We're highly efficient cat burglars as well [RUMPELTEAZER] And remarkably smart at a smash and grab We make our home in Victoria Grove [MUNGOJERRIE] We have no regular occupation [MUNGOJERRIE & RUMPELTEAZER] We are plausible fellows who like to engage A friendly policeman in conversation When the family assembles for Sunday dinner With their minds made up that they won't get thinner [MUNGOJERRIE] On Argentine joint [RUMPELTEAZER] Potatoes and greens [MUNGOJERRIE & RUMPELTEAZER] Then the cook will appear from behind the scenes [MUNGOJERRIE] And say in a voice that is broken with sorrow [RUMPELTEAZER] "I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow [MUNGOJERRIE & RUMPELTEAZER] For the joint has gone from the oven like that!" The family will say "It's that horrible cat! [MUNGOJERRIE] Was it Mungojerrie [RUMPELTEAZER] Or Rumpelteazer?" [MUNGOJERRIE & RUMPELTEAZER] And most of the time they leave it at that Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer have a wonderful way of working together [RUMPELTEAZER] And some of the time you would say it was luck [MUNGOJERRIE] And some of the time you would say it was weather [MUNGOJERRIE & RUMPELTEAZER] We'd go through the house like a hurricane [RUMPELTEAZER] And no sober person can take his oath [MUNGOJERRIE] "Was it Mungojerrie [RUMPELTEAZER] Or Rumpelteazer? [MUNGOJERRIE & RUMPELTEAZER] Or could you have sworn that it might have been both?" [MUNGOJERRIE] And when you hear a dining room smash [RUMPELTEAZER] Or up from the pantry there comes a loud crash [MUNGOJERRIE] Or down from the library there comes a loud ping [RUMPELTEAZER] From a vase which is commonly said to be Ming [MUNGOJERRIE & RUMPELTEAZER] The family would say: "Now which was which cat? It was Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer And there's nothing at all to be done about that!"